


Pompeii am Götterdämmerung

by Loupgaros



Category: Fallout 76
Genre: F/F, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mental Breakdown, Original Character Death(s), The Responders (Faction), Written to music, holotape journals, no one gets out alive, scorchbeast - Freeform, scorched plague
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:00:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27312274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loupgaros/pseuds/Loupgaros
Summary: A Scorchbeast attack leaves a small and insular community in disarray, as well as one Responder who didn't make it out in time. Staying behind to help keep the spread of the dreaded Scorched plague at bay, she decides to document the descent into Scorched madness, while dealing with another distraction.
Kudos: 3





	Pompeii am Götterdämmerung

**Author's Note:**

> Meant to be done for a Fallout prompt for each letter of SPECIAL, P was Passing. I realised that as soon as I set on this course, I'd fail so I'm putting them up out of order for ones I had inspiration for. 
> 
> I wrote the thing with The Flaming Lips' At War With The Mystics on repeat, hence the title. i really wanted to explore the Scorched plague and its effects on the mind in particular. It's something close to my heart as one of my favourite authors had his mind torn apart by Alzheimers. You can probably guess who. He's pretty famous. It was my chance also to write something to songs that are pretty damn melancholic and i'd had for a long while a mental image of two people holding hands while being turned to ash, while being willing for it to happen. A beautiful but somewhat sad image. 
> 
> As a result, if anything in this is triggering, I hope my tags are sufficient. Please don't read if you don't feel you can, I appreciate this is a very heavy topic. There is a reason I tagged this mature.
> 
> I will likely make a cover image for it at some point. Some imagery in this was hard to convey in words.

**_The Sound of Failure_ **

_ -click- _

_ Ruth, Responder, entry number… 3.  _

_ It’s been a couple of days. Scorchies are rare over Charleston but didn’t stop this one. No way to avoid it, not when you’re bandaging someone up.  _

_ I’ve stayed with the Wade 15. Plague hit and I can’t exactly leave them. Got hit too. So thought I’d leave some records in case you guys stop by.  _

_ I can confirm a few things from our observations. Onset is quick but I’m finding it slower. Out of the 15 here, 2 of them were taken over quickly. It was as you’d expect. Skin turning ashen, the ultracite spikes, everything we’ve seen before. They were gone before anyone noticed.  _

_ As for me, I’ve got… so far, patches of skin drying out. I think I shredded the mattress with small ultracite spikes. Still got my head though. I don’t know how long it’ll be before that goes. They run like a hive. Something calls them. Maybe I’ll know but this version of me won’t be able to tell you.  _

_ What else…? Well I should say that if you do come by, Father John is not going to let you near. Not that you should. But his moods are more erratic recently. We all know he was a bit of a lone wolf sort up at Wade but plague has made it worse. Don’t come near if you can help it. There’s few enough of us as is.  _

_ I’ll close off for now. May not be able to do much but we do what we can. _

_ -click- _

Ruth closed the holotape recorder and took a breath. Let’s see. Still able to think. So far. She wasn’t sure how much good she’d be here. Plague got you, it got you pretty quick. Onset could be a couple of days or you had a shot at a few days more. 

Just waiting for that cure now. It felt like a losing race but one still worth racing, even if it killed them.

Leaving her small room, it was out into the little area of Charleston that would remain theirs for however long it took for plague to take hold. 

The remaining survivors of the Wade airport exodus had been lucky enough to land in this part of Charleston. She passed tall walls that remained or previous buildings, topped with wire and spikes. And the broad flatness here was ideal for the crop garden as well. The brahmin feeding at the trough, named Millie, would be left behind once the worst happened. Probably the hardiest of them all. 

‘Take it all in. Sooner or later, we’ll all the same.’ Ruth was drawn out of her daydream by a rough voice. Benjamin. His voice was already Scorched-coarse but had remained so far relatively free of the ashen skin. He managed a smile as he caught her attention. ‘Welcome back to earth. You want a coffee?’

‘Sure.’ A nod at that as she leaned on Millie’s paddock. ‘She’s looking healthy.’

Benjamin offered her a cup of coffee (warmed up flat Nuka Cola really but it was good) and nodded. ‘Got a good few years left on her. You reckon they get this plague?’

‘Our research hasn’t shown it yet.’ She shrugged. ‘So couldn’t say.’

A moment of silence as they sipped the beverage. Then Benjamin made the move to shuffle over to the crop garden. ‘Well. can’t stay still. Always feels I’ll be stuck in place if I don’t shift me feet.’

That much was true. That was a later stage but the feeling of always needing to move was very strong. She herself had been restless these past two days. With a nod, she headed towards one of the few intact buildings, propped up with crude wooden slats and supports. 

Father John wasn’t called that because he was religious. As head of the Wade group, he’d actually been the oldest so the paternal name had stuck. And her holotape for the day hadn’t been wrong. 

He was sat at his desk, a cloth drawn over his head to hide the ashen skin. Even at this stage, he had retained the coarse beard. His fierce sunken eyes greeted her with open hostility as she headed into his office. ‘Morning.’ He rasped the greeting then turned back to his paper.

Ruth paused at the doorway. ‘Checking up. Can I see how far it’s progressed today?’ She was brusque. Had to be with John. He hadn’t liked the Responders in Wade for a reason even she hadn’t coaxed out of him but he was stuck with her now. 

The cloth was begrudgingly removed. Ruth almost winced. ‘It’s almost all over now. Feeling anything strange?’

‘Nothing you don’t already know about.’ The man spat the words before replacing the cloth and turning back to his letter. ‘And nothing you can help.’

‘Do you still hear the voices?’ Ruth persevered. He’d mentioned voices and screeching in his head when it was otherwise silent. That was important and yes, she couldn’t help. But this would help others. If only the bastard would just tell her how strong they were. 

‘Yes.’ Short and to the point. The pen scribbled across the paper. ‘Now leave me. I have things to do.’

No talking to him like this. She left gracelessly and headed out. 

_ -click- _

_ Entry number… 4. Same day. I’ve treated everyone I can and yet I feel we’re due to lose a couple. Asim is close to full Scorched and wandering phase. If he goes in the next hour or so, I wouldn’t be surprised.  _

_ John is… There’s no polite way to say it. Pisses me off. He says I can’t help but if I can leave these tapes as records then they may not help him but they can help who comes after him. Selfish bastard. I can only guess he feels the call but sheer will keeps him here. Got a will like an iron bar, that man. Maybe I’m being selfish too, but I want to know what it sounds like when I hear that. But no. No, it’s all him moping in his office. Wandering phase won’t even get him. I know I shouldn’t wish ill of him but I almost want him to just turn to stone. _

_ Anyway. I’m due to see Lena soon. She’s been the hardest hit in this. The rest are fine but seems she likes my company enough to open up a bit. More updates to come. _

_ -click- _

Lena. She was an enigma to most of the Wade survivors. All they knew was that she’d been with them for less than a month before the mutants had taken Wade from them. It had left its mark.

Ruth sat on the balcony that served as Lena’s outdoor space. The young woman didn’t head out much but she did do basic maintenance on things indoors. Other than that, she stuck to her room or the balcony. 

Lena handed her a scrap of paper. Ruth glanced at it and smiled faintly. It was Millie. Last time it had been a terrifyingly detailed Scorchbeast. To see her draw more mundane everyday stuff was almost a relief. ‘Looks good. You’ve got great lines there. I’d know that was Millie from just the horns.’

A nod and then another was offered. Benjamin at the crops. ‘Thanks.’ Lena had always had a quiet voice but the added Scorched dryness made it a little more audible now. ‘She’s a good subject to draw.’ 

‘I bet.’ Ruth nodded, taking in the two drawings. ‘Calming too. I feel very calm near her.’

Another nod and Lena shifted her look to beyond the balcony. It was starting to look grey. ‘She’ll outlive us all. We only have a few days.’

This was something you got used to. She had moments of joy, quiet ones in her case. But they were few and far between. ‘Can be a lifetime, a few days. That’s the way my pop would have seen it.’ Ruth paused then handed the pictures back. ‘He was an optimist.’

This was greeted by a shrug. Worth a try. 

‘Why did you become a Responder? And why here?’ The questions were sudden. Lena seemed to be on a different train of thought.

‘That? Oh easy. I wanted to help. Youse all needed it out here, why not join?’ She gave this thought. ‘That and my brother joined. When raiders got him, I swore I’d make it better for everyone else. And... ‘ Ruth sighed. ‘Well the beast got me too. Can’t go back and infect them, can I?’

Some parts seemed to satisfy curiosity. But Lena’s look said she wasn’t entirely convinced. ‘You came by before. Even before the attack. Food, medicine. That sort of thing. Is this something you do for anyone? Or we special?’

‘It’s called being a Responder. I have a patrol route, youse were on it. ‘Course I stopped by.’ Geez, Lena was a bit sharp today. ‘And special? Well… John certainly thinks you all are. Special enough to not have anyone in Responder uniform anywhere near.’ She added her own little bite there.

‘He’s an idiot.’ Lena said this with all the simplicity of someone who’s seen idiocy and knew full well what it looked like from prior experience. ‘He has pride. Pride in men makes them idiots.’ 

Ruth couldn’t help but manage a small chuckle at that. Lena was still young, no less than 19 but sometimes her voice spoke in decades of experience. ‘True enough. Pride in anyone makes them idiots though. Trust me on that one.’

‘With him, it’s everything.’ Spoken in such a matter-of-fact tone, Ruth had to wonder if she’d seen more than the survivors had counted on. Or probably youthful jadedness. ‘Anyway. It’s nice to be able to say that to someone who won’t tell me off for it.’

Ruth nodded. ‘I won’t tell him. Not if you won’t. He might not listen anyway.’

  
  
  


**_The Wizard Turns On_ **

_ -click-  _

_ Entry number 5. I hope I’m making these easier for you to find. Remember these when we’re getting that bloody cure at last.  _

_ It’s evening and I’m recording things I’ve felt since then. Still the dry skin, it’s darker now. Red where I scratched it. It hurts. I tried salve. It does nothing.  _

_ Sleep is hard to come by. I can’t sleep so I record this tonight.  _

_ Benjamin is getting closer to walking stage I think. He can’t stay still. John is more and more locked away. Lena has the coarse voice now but still looking asymptomatic. Millie the Brahmin is the healthiest of us all here. Do Brahmin get this? Ask this when the cure is found. Could be important.  _

_ It’s harder to think. Thirst is constant. I’ll try to sleep and hope I haven’t become stone. _

_ -click- _

Asim had gone in the night. He’d bolted as soon as he’d forced the crude double doors open. He wouldn’t be seen again.

Benjamin closed the doors and latched the chain back in place. ‘Another one. He was a good worker too.’

Ruth nodded. Benjamin spoke matter-of-factly but it was clear it had hurt. The Wade group had been close. Most communities were, but Wade especially. She patted his shoulder then turned back to milking Millie.

The day went by. She attended her Responder duties as best she could amid frequent sips of water and warm Nuka Cola. But it was the evening that was the better highlight. 

Back on the balcony, Lena had asked her to stay a little longer this time. This had made Ruth a little happier, more than simply hoping the young woman would open up. She hoped Lena wouldn’t notice that.

‘I heard he left this morning.’ Lena said conversationally, her dimming eyes focussed on the setting sun over the buildings. ‘Does the wandering stage hurt, you think?’ 

Ruth shrugged. ‘We won’t know until we get there. I know I don’t stay still anymore. I don’t like to think on it too much.’

A moment of silence there. ‘I wouldn’t mind seeing it. Or feeling it. I just want to know. It’s not knowing that makes it more uncertain. Goes for a lot of things.’ Lena thought for a moment. ‘You asked once why I’d come to Wade I think. I can tell you wanted to know.’

That was how conversations went. One topic veered off sharply to another. Ruth was used to it, welcomed it even. ‘I was curious, yeah. The others said you were super quiet. But you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.’ She said that quickly, in case Lena changed her mind.

Darkened eyes framed in a young but worn and Scorched-scratched face met her own. Below those, a slight smile. ‘Someone should know. We all have stories.’ Lena shuffled in her seat. ‘Our group had left The Mire. Anglers were too frequent so we had to go. Numbered only 10 I think. But we met some other folks out here, became a little collective. We’d come back, you see. Heard about that gold.’ She laughed, coarse and mirthlessly. ‘What good’s gold when you have those beasts flying across the sky.’

Ruth was quiet, only nodding as she listened. It hadn’t done much to explain Lena’s cold demeanour but returning to a hellscape might do it.

‘Then we were attacked. Blood Eagles. Came in the night, trashed our camp. By the time most of us got away, it was a bloodbath. And I guess… bad luck from there.’ Lena sighed. ‘Not depressing you, am I? I didn’t say it’d be happy. Add to that, we had two guys fighting for leadership, full of pride they could do better.’ A snort at that.

‘Often the way, I’m afraid. Not all of us have tragic backstories but greed is a powerful motivator.’ Ruth nodded. ‘Was it the gold they were arguing over?’

‘Yeah. That and who was responsible for lax security. But mostly gold. By the time we got to Wade airport, the gold was forgotten. We just wanted shelter. We just wanted to live long enough to maybe look at the gold later. But then… Well you knew what happened there already.’

Yes. Ruth knew. The Responders hadn’t been quick enough to act. Maybe that was why John hated them. It was regrettable but not much more could be said. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t be. John may be pissed at you but I know more than he does. Sometimes this place throws you and you can only think afterwards.’ Lena stood up and leaned on the balcony rail. ‘I’m glad i could tell you. It was… a relief. I don’t know how much longer I have before my mind goes.’

Ruth felt the swelling in her throat at that. Taking a sip of warmed Nuka Cola she nodded and disguised that sudden sensation as a cough. ‘That goes for us all.’

She’d left Lena to do her nightly chores and felt sleep draw her to its folds. It was a not unhappy sleep. They’d… finally connected. She’d broken the ice. It felt good. For once, sleep felt good. 

  
  
  


**_Mr Ambulance Driver_ **

_ -click-  _

_ Ruth, Responder. I… have no idea how many journals this is.  _

_ I went to sleep finally happy. I feel I’m making progress with Lena. We talked and she opened up. I know many of you listening will know how hard it was for me after… she went the same way, and I know this’ll be brief. But for now, I just want to be happy in that. It’s one connection we have and I’m so happy we share that. _

_ But other news is less happy. Benjamin woke us all up with a scream. We went to see and it was John. He was dead. But he was petrified. I examined him and he was still sat down but he’d ran himself through with a Bowie knife.  _

_ The voices have been stronger. Walk. Warm. Kill. I think he would rather have died than face what was to come.  _

_ Benjamin’s been too upset for much else. We escorted him out. We’ll try to give him a good funeral later.  _

_ And two more became wanderers. There’s little point in keeping the door bolted now.  _

_ I hold onto as much humanity as I can. But I’m struggling. I just want to feel that warmth… _

_ -click- _

They were gathered in a circle about the prone and petrified Father John. Benjamin’s words were broken by sobs and Scorched cracking but the service was brief and to the point. Being John’s adopted son meant it appropriate for him to lead this.

No burial. The body disintegrated. 

Ruth was sat outside, patting Millie’s heads. Her hand was soon joined by another, lightly brushing hers tentatively. Through glazed vision, Ruth could make out Lena. ‘Hey. Thought I’d spend time with our favourite Brahmin.’ 

‘I don’t blame you.’ Lena had cried at the funeral but she was steady now. For now anyway. ‘I… wanted to say thank you. For organising the funeral I mean. I don’t think any of us would have done it.’

‘Think nothing of it. He was an ass. But he deserved more than just being left there.’

Lena nodded, brushing aside her dark hair. The Scorched lesions were spreading with little green shards poking out at odd points. The ashen skin made the pale brown of Lena’s normal tones stand out starkly. ‘I’d like our talk again. It felt good to talk to someone who understands.’

‘I’d love to.’ Dammit. Just say the words. You know you want to. ‘I’ll be there as usual.’

The rest of the day was a giddy rollercoaster. She felt she had a duty to Benjamin as well as Lena and had spent some time with him. Dealing with loss nad grief was one part of Responder training and she liked to think she was good at that. The man certainly seemed better in any case. 

Then evening was spent on the balcony. It was spent watching the sun go down. Very little talk. Just reflection. In a way it was the best and most appropriate way to end the day. 

  
  
  


**_Vein of Stars_ **

Ruth dreamed.

_ She was among statues. Not statues, no. These were petrified forms that had once been humans. They all faced one way, forward only. Various poses, covering eyes, crouching, all faced the opening of a spectacular cavern.  _

_ The cavern was a luminous green. Nothing could be seen at that entrance but everyone had expected something. Looking up, green blades of ultracite jutted downward. She looked down and tried to shuffle her feet. They moved with considerable resistance. She felt panic rise in her throat and she tried to move again.  _

Move.

_ The voice commanded her with such force she finally moved forward, tumbling to the ground.  _

Us. Only us. __

_ The voice roared the words and they hammered inside her skull. Yet she felt that warmth, the yearned for warmth she had wanted since this had started. Then she looked up, wincing with tears of pain hurting her eyes. The entrance now had a visitor.  _

_ The shape was indistinct but then great wings unfurled. _

Not us… KILL

_ The creature turned to face her. The great head was shaped like a giant bat’s, the nose appearing torn out and twitching as it saw her. Teeth bared and long, savage like knives. But the lips didn’t move. The command was coming from the mind. _

Warm… Find warm.

_ Ruth squirmed but talons pinned her and the great head was just above her. She clamped hands around her ears in time as the chant started up, led by the howling of this great animal. _

One of us… One of us… One of us… ONE OF US

Then Ruth was awake.

_ -click- _

_ My name is Ruth. I am a Responder. I am still human.  _

_ I am… not one of them yet.  _

_ But I will be. I want you to hear this. Hear what we’re becoming here.  _

_ I had a dream that I was being… Uh… ordered by the source of this. We know Scorchbeast Queens lead them but… This was frightening. She was commanding me and I would have followed. I don’t want to kill. I don’t want to be this!  _

_ I can’t think much more. It hurts. I just want to be warm.  _

_ -click- _

  
  


**_It Overtakes Me_ **

Dawn saw more news. 

Benjamin’s body was found in John’s office. The silenced pipe pistol had clattered where it had fallen next to him. 

The remaining group, those still cognizant, dispersed. Ruth had simply put a blanket over him then left.

Outside, clear air did nothing. Her mind was a fog. She should be upset. The human part of her was still there but rapidly becoming more and more numb. 

She should have felt something. But instead, all she felt was empty. That warmth was missing. The screeching of the Queen was there too, just on the edge of mental hearing. It would be time to go. They had to walk. 

She glanced at her arm. Pale skin taken over by ashen then red skin, pocked with green shards. Even her eyes had changed colour, lacking pupils. 

A hand touched her arm. Equally red but still with traces of the pale brown skin she remembered from…

‘Lena?’ Ruth came back. The human self was back for a moment. ‘I… I think we should go.’

Lena looked Ruth square in the eye and nodded. ‘It’s for the best.’

The sun was coming up slowly. Beneath it, two figures walked slowly, along the dry banks of the river that had once flowed. Slow and steady, not too far from each other. Just focused on walking. 

Ruth could barely feel anything other than the urge to walk. The voice inside screeched and tore at her mind, her soul. She could see it’s owner clear, a giant almost hairless bat with talons and wings bigger than the sun. 

It was overtaking them both. The Scorched disease had taken its unending toll. Ruth tried anything to overcome it. Tried saying her name internally to bounce back at the bat and force it back a few minutes longer. Try to stay human. Try to stay away from habitation. Get somewhere empty. 

She stopped when Lena’s footsteps did. She turned to see Lena rubbing her arm and looking down. ‘Lena? We have to keep going.’

‘I… I know.’ Lena’s voice was cracked and not necessarily because her throat was raw. ‘Ruth, I’m scared. Does the voice have to be this loud? I.. can’t hear myself think.’

Ruth rubbed Lena’s shoulder. ‘I understand. I don’t want to hear it either. I am just… I think… I think I am just about… thinking.’

Lena looked up, her eyes conveying terror even if clouded over. ‘I don’t want to go. Not like this.’

‘Me neither.’ Ruth sighed. ‘But we can go together. How about that?’

‘I’d like that… Thank you.’

It wasn’t what they really wanted to say. But that was that. They started walking again. This time they crested a high point and stopped. Far away from any nearby populations. 

All the time, the voice tore at them. How they wished they could both cry at the pain. Their bodies ached. The minds felt like mush being puppeteered by this screeching demon. But now… Maybe here salvation.

Warm.

Warm salvation. 

With one of us.

  
  


**_Pompeii am Götterdämmerung_ **

Some moments passed. Both figures remained rooted to the spot. 

It was Ruth who broke the silence. She offered her hand to Lena. ‘I.. have something I wanted to say. My mind is… unclear but not on one thing. I… I am glad you shared with me. I.. want you to know that. Even as it’s the… Um. The... ‘

‘The end?’ Lena finished the sentence. She took the hand and grasped it tight. ‘I… still don’t want to go… The voice hurts my brain. But I’m glad you’re with me.’

Ruth managed a smile, ignoring the pain. The pain did push back the beast though. ‘One of us?’

Lena too managed a smile. It conveyed the humanity still lingering there, fighting back against the disease and mind control. ‘One of us. Both of us.’

The sun was higher now. They both turned to face it. 

Within the Queen screamed. Mouth agape in a scream of rage to order them onwards. Rooted was danger! Move with all haste! Seek the warmth!

They could see with mind’s eyes the thrashing beast, the voice growing more desperate. They had warmth. They had each other. They were one of us. They were where they should be. 

The Queen roared. It took them suddenly, swamping their senses. They could see only her, feel only her, all they remembered was her.

The Queen was everything they knew. She was in every memory nook and cranny. She was there in plain sight, in the back of their minds. She was in their bodies, fighting the growing petrification, in their hands still holding the other’s tight. 

The Queen tried another terrifying roar to dull all human senses and kick them to moving before it was too late. 

Skin turned from red to dark and black, the ultracite shards growing longer. Rooted, unable to move, only able to accept the growing petrification. 

One last look to each other. Then back to the sun, taking in one last sunrise. The darkened ashen dry skin spreading upwards to their heads.

It immortalised their hands. Their steady sunwards gaze. 

It took them over.

It took their senses. 

All their senses.

All their senses. 

The queen was silent.


End file.
